"Love is not the answer. Get your twenties out of your system. Travel. Take risks. Move around. Quit school. Go back to school. Change careers. Change religions. Change your name if you want to. Do everything you need or want to do that requires absolute freedom to act quickly and often. Travel often. Travel light. Let your dreams and aspirations be your destination, but let curiosity be your guide. Follow every side road that intrigues you. Explore. Exclaim. Don’t worry about finding your way back. The only constant is change. The only threat is baggage. The twenties are carry-on baggage days. Preferably tote bag and a toothbrush days. Love is checked baggage. Love is freight. If you fall in love too soon, and allow yourself to get in too deep, you have just tied yourself to a freight train track. This doesn’t mean love isn’t the best thing that will ever happen to you. Eventually it might be. But probably not in your twenties. Twenties love is what divorces and mid-life crises are made of. Here’s what this particular train wreck looks like: a spouse you once loved more than life, sucking the life out of you. Kids, if they’re unlucky enough to be born to this relationship, that you’ll never be able to love more than you love yourself. Kids deserve better. Spouses deserve better. You deserve better. So follow this next simple rule."
John Howell, 5 Things I Wish I’d Known in my 20s
"I felt a tremendous distance between me and everything real."
Hunter S. Thompson, The Rum Diary
"Frugality isn’t about cutting your spending on everything. That approach wouldn’t last two days. Frugality, quite simply, is about choosing the things you love enough to spend extravagantly on—and then cutting costs mercilessly on the things you don’t love."
I’d say the same about the time you spend with people.
"This is also for the people who wake early to watch flowers bloom; who notice the moon at noon on a day when the world has slapped them in the face with its lack of light."
“Maybe this is what the Mayans predicted. Not an asteroid or a solar flare, but the end of what we are. We no longer cherish life, or the other people, or even the earth or the animals or the resources put on it. War. Genocide. Abuse. Senseless mass murder. Animal cruelty. Gluttony. Greed. Waste. And lust. Look around you, the end of the world is already here.”
Damn. And it’s only a Monday.
"For me, a woman who is absorbed in her work, who does not care about gaining one’s favour, strong yet subtle at the same time, is essentially more seductive. The more she hides and abandons her femininity, the more it emerges from the very heart of her existence."
God is so great that he works out a plan, a plan to work everything out for your good if you belong to him, and his glory, which takes into consideration your choices, and still works his plan out infallibly.
Jacob lied to his father, Isaac, and wanted his birthright. He cheated his older brother out of it. Because he cheated, because he lied, he had to flee from his family. Was he guilty? Yes. Did he experience pain in his life because of that choice? Yes. Was he punished for it? Yes. But because he sinned he went and found his wife, Rachel, through whom the Messiah came. Was it all right then that he sinned?
No, but don’t you see because Jacob sinned, though God held him responsible for that choice, did that put him on an eternal plan B? Did he say, ‘I’ve ruined it from now on because of this sin. God will never give me the best?’ My friends, no. When he sinned he went into the best for him. God is far greater than your stupid choices."
I wish I knew how to quit.
Someone asked me what I wish I had known earlier in my college career. Now that I sit at the end of it, comfortably at the edge, feet dangling over the great unknown of what will come after college, I have to weigh this question for some time.
Do I wish I had better grades? Sure, I guess. But even now, I’m pretty satisfied with how I did and I’m not sure how much grades will matter to me. If my grades were better, I’m not sure how much more it would help me in the coming months.
Do I wish I tried harder for internships and professional experience? I had two solid internships under my belt, both amazing experiences with substantial lessons. Even with only two, I had a hard time juggling work and play so probably not.
Do I wish I spent more time on my social life? I had and have very solid relationships in my life. “Had” just refers to those people who moved in and out of my life, for one reason or another; not all great things are meant to last. Some of the best things are short-lived. “Have” are the handful of people in my life, some I’ve known for a long time and some for a few, short weeks. I’d say I’m okay with how this all turned out for me.
I did so many different things in college, so many different experiences. I designed for the Guardian for awhile; I was an officer at a business organization. I worked at the District Attorney’s office and volunteered at elementary schools. I fed the homeless. I went to church for the first time. I learned to surf, played soccer and football for the first time, bought my own longboard, and even joined the running club on campus for some time. I practiced yoga and started dance. I had been an economics major and then a political science major. I dabbled at the thought of going to law school.
Now, I’m coasting through my senior year, last quarter, having worked hard and learned (and really, I had to learn) to play hard. So what do I wish I had known earlier?
I wish I had known the value of quitting.
I know that there is a world of stigma associated with quitting. Our society isn’t built for quitters. We are supposed to presevere, overcome, and succeed despite all odds.
But I learned that the best opportunities and people have come into my life after I’ve cleared out the clutter, when I’ve quit things I haven’t enjoyed for a long time or when I’ve let go of toxic relationships. I wish I had known how to quit because it is no longer good for me, whatever “it” is. I wish I had known that I am better at some things over other things and that is okay because now, in this moment, I feel like my life is better because I have let go of all that I don’t need or want.
“Quitting is not giving up, it’s choosing to focus your attention on something more important. Quitting is not losing confidence, it’s realizing that there are more valuable ways you can spend your time. Quitting is not making excuses, it’s learning to be more productive, efficient and effective instead. Quitting is letting go of things (or people) that are sucking the life out of you so you can do more things that will bring you strength.”
― Osayi Osar-Emokpae, Impossible Is Stupid
The day my ribcage became monkey bars
for a girl hanging on my every word
they said, “You are not allowed to love her.”
Tried to take me by the throat
to teach me, “You are not a boy.”
I had to unlearn their prison speak,
refusing to make wishes on the star
on the sheriff’s chest.
I started talking to the stars in the sky instead.
I said, “Tell me about the big bang.”
The stars said, “It hurts to become.”
I carry that hurt on the tip of my tongue
and whisper, “bless your heart”
every chance I get
so my family tree can be sure
I have not left.
"You’ve got to sell your heart, your strongest reactions, not the little minor things that only touch you lightly, the little experiences that you might tell at dinner. This is especially true when you begin to write, when you have not yet developed the tricks of interesting people on paper, when you have none of the technique which it takes time to learn. When, in short, you have only your emotions to sell."
"I want to write a novel about Silence,” he said; “the things people don’t say."
This is ridiculously amazing.
"You will find that it is necessary to let things go; simply for the reason that they are heavy."
"The truest expression of a people is in its dance and in its music. Bodies never lie."
Agnes de Mille